Waiting

Waiting. Is there an uglier word in the English language? As a woman of action, I think not. I’d agree with Ralph Waldo Emerson when he said, “How much of human life is lost in waiting.” Although now that I'm actually taking a moment during this season of Advent to pause and reflect, it occurs to me that perhaps Emerson and I are wrong.

The idea of waiting has been presented to me a lot over the past four months. I keep seeing the line from Exodus (you know, in the Bible!) - “The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still.” Be still? How in the world does God expect me to be still? I'm a doer. I grab life with both hands and get things done. When you are an independent filmmaker and freelancer, the world doesn't come to you. You have to make your own opportunities. So every time I've seen that phrase, I question God on what He means by asking me to be still.

Four years ago, I felt God calling me to produce and direct the feature film I wrote, Broken & Beautiful. I felt God's nudge to do the film in August, 2010. Back in January of that year I prayed to learn dependence on God. 

That's the thing about God, if you pray for something that is in His will, you best be ready for your life to change when He answers. My prayer in January of 2010 to learn complete trust in God has now led me to an entire career change in 2014.

When I remember this experience, it makes me wonder what God is up to by asking me to be still. Surely, something is going on. I've had a lot of life changes in 2014, and they all require action, yet everywhere I turn I see that reminder to “be still.”  Hence my decision to take a moment in advent to ponder the idea of being still, of waiting.

Advent means “the arrival of a notable person, thing, or event.” We actively wait for Christ’s arrival each year. Kids get giddy in anticipation of the presents they want from Santa. (Oh, who am I kidding? Adults can get giddy too. I’m getting a new GoPro. Woo-hoo! But, I digress.) When we know something great is right on the horizon, we have anticipation and prepare ourselves to receive what is coming.

Think of a first date. You shower (I hope), pick out your best outfit, plan the date, and probably check your watch a few million times during the preparation. This is all out of excitement for what is to come. When you produce a film, you plan production with great anticipation. You have to be excited in the waiting stage, so you can encourage others to join the team and support the project. After all the waiting and preparation, when the time is right, it all pays off. (Well, unless you just made “The Interview.”)

So, I think it is safe to say that Emerson and I were wrong. We don’t lose our life waiting. There is a purpose to waiting. When you actively wait and are attentive to what is happening in the waiting stage, you are being prepared for what is to come. Without the waiting, you would not be ready for the opportunity/blessing when it does arrive.

If you have prayed for something big, something you know you need but it isn’t second nature to you or within your reach right now (like me wanting to learn dependence on God in 2010), God may have to work a great reordering of your life to bring it to fulfillment. And for that, the waiting is necessary. When you must let go of what you have in your life to accept what God is going to offer you, this active waiting is the only thing that will truly prepare you.

Waiting. What a beautiful word.