Our deepest fear ... Confidence?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Maryanne Williamson (Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech)

I first heard this quote spoken by the character Timo Cruz (played magnificently by the talented Rick Gonzalez) in the movie Coach Carter. 

It's one of my favorite quotes because it highlights the fact that God has placed something special in each of us. He created each of us with purpose, a purpose that perhaps no one else in the history of time could accomplish like we could. And it takes that idea a step further. It encourages us to have a boldness and confidence about the fact that we have a special spark inside us.

When I was in high school, we had a career day. Many of my classmates probably used this as a goof off day, but I really paid attention during presentations. A woman gave a presentation on marketing and advertising and I remember raising my hand to answer question after question correctly. That day was quite instrumental in me deciding to major in marketing in college.

After I graduated with my marketing degree, I worked in that field for 14 years. I had confidence in talent that God had given me. Then in April 2014, my life hit a snag when I was laid off from my job as an assistant director of marketing. In one of my last days, my boss said “you didn't seem to have confidence in your decisions anymore." She was right. There were a lot of changes going on at the school and my work was under a microscope, constantly being second-guessed. So, yes, I lost confidence.

Trying to a 'glass-half-full' kind of a gal, I viewed the sudden change in my career as a blessing in disguise. I took it as a sign that God wanted me to work full-time in filmmaking and have been navigating the bumpy road of my new freelancing career. However, I’ve experienced other shakeups in my life in 2014, so the overall confidence I've felt in the past is still pretty diminished.

However, as I look to rebuild in 2015, I choose to look at the positive side of everything. Things were taken away from me, but God will provide something better. I've been brought down, but God will bring me back up, supplying what I need. Being stripped of my confidence in myself, I'll have confidence in God's word and his promises for my life.

There's a fine line between confidence and conceit/pride. We can believe that we are brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous, but we need to remember that it is God who gave us those gifts. 

And God gives our neighbor just as many talents and we need to encourage others to live and act in that knowledge. If you run into me in 2015, know that I will be working on helping you let your light shine.