Tuesday, July 28, 2015

I'm New in Town

After driving 3,500 miles for what should be a 2,000-mile trip from Chicago, I arrived in Los Angeles last Monday evening. The trip across the mountain states was amazing and beautiful. You've gotta love America, where you can visit a potato museum, see a five-story blue bear staring into an office building, and stop by a man's house littered with 60+ fire hydrants.

Over my first week here, as I have met people and say that I am new in town, I inevitably think of this bit from John Mulaney since, at the moment, I am also homeless. (Though not on the street; I am in the guest room at the home of some generous friends.) But I figure if I push them as my greeting, I may not make as many friends, so I refrain from playing out Mulaney's bit.

My two top priorities upon arrival were: 1) find a place to live and 2) find a job. The first one has proven to be far more entertaining. Things I have learned in my house-hunting:

  • Places in LA don't include refrigerators. Many times they don't include stoves, either. Perhaps that is how they all stay skinny, since they apparently don't keep food in their homes.
  • Call ahead. Even though I made appointments to see places, there were times when I showed up and the place was already rented out (once, a mere 12 hours later!). And, sometimes those new renters don't lock the door and you walk in on them "celebrating" having a new place. That was awkward.
  • I know this is true for most cities, but a few blocks can make all the difference. I went to check out a place that didn't seem too far from the Beverly Hills area. "Should be safe," I thought to myself. Two miles doesn't sound like a far distance, but these areas are worlds apart! I didn't even slow my car down when I drove past the apartment. Not happening.
  • Rental "code" is fun to decipher. "Cute and charming" equals "small." etc, etc. If there are no pictures of the interior, I'll pass. It's even a sport to read between the lines when the landlady asks you a question, such as "how often will you have overnight guests?" Um, lady what are you trying to ask me? I'm not a prostitute, thank you very much.

On to week two... I await to hear if I will be approved to rent a cute and charming guest house I found and continue my job search.

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